Fight or flight?

There were two responses to oppression on display yesterday as my Annual Conference struggled with allowing 3 congregations to disaffiliate from the UMC, not traditionalist congregations as the legislation anticipated but 3 progressive congregations who have been leaders in our response to the UMC's oppression against LGBTQ people, which includes denying same-sex marriages (even to this day) and refusing ordination to openly gay clergy (even to this day). New England years ago refused to comply with these oppressive rules, but they remain in our governing document and are still practiced elsewhere in the denomination. Most of our clergy and laity are committed to resisting this legislation, some continue to believe in those rules, and this year a third alternative appeared: to walk away. Sadly, the debate was acrimonious, and at time ad hominem. Because I know two of the three pastors and many of the disaffiliating laity well (and officiated at the marriage of one of the clergy) I know that they did not orchestrate this as a way to run away with three of the progressive jewels of the Conference. They responded to the pastoral needs and vulnerabilities of their congregations by helping them to move beyond the reach of those who would do them harm. Until yesterday, I could well see them returning if and when the barbs of our Book of Discipline were trimmed, but I doubt now that that will happen in this generation, and I feel badly about that. The truth is, those who opposed them leaving are also victims of the many kinds of oppression we still practice and experience. For a few hours yesterday, I fear we allowed our common oppressors (racism, sexism, heteronormism, and others) to define us, to cause us to visit our hurts and angers upon one another. It is a kind of infighting that only weakens our progressive witness to the global church and the world around us. Though my heart is with those who continue in the fight, I grieve for those who chose another path, for they too are my siblings in Christ. I pray their disaffiliation will give them peace, and in the passing of time they will understand that we are all victims of a dream of justice too long delayed. I wish them safety, and an abundance of grace, and I dream that one day our paths will once again merge, if not in this life, then in the next. I pray for myself and my fellow UM's that we will continue to labor on as Christ has called us to do, and that we will recognize and allow for a variety of responses to the harm that the world and our own institution has served up. I write this out of an abundance of privilege, I own that because I cannot do otherwise, and I pray that my eyes will continually be opened by those whose experience is different from and more painful than mine.